I can’t find the words.

I honestly want to write about the emotions of my day today. Truly, from the time I woke until this very moment, I have experienced what I believe to be every emotion know to humankind. Some mild, some so intense I thought I would lose myself in madness. Some triggered by my own honest-to-goodness, medically documented, emotional issues, others by misunderstanding, and yet others by a love so deep I could not help but feel the emotions of another.

It’s possible, in fact likely, that if I was not still reeling from the day’s happenings, that I might be able to tell you most, if not all, of the occurrences and feelings that filled my waking hours. I am, after all, a writer, and one who has “a flair for language” (a direct quote from a past creative writing professor, though I not-very-humbly agree with her).

But I am at a loss. So much so that I don’t think I could even simply list the different emotions. Yeah, that’s how bad it is. It’s very frustrating for me to be unable to do this. I mean, clearly I am able to write about the fact that I indeed had these experiences, but I can’t describe them. My head is in such a fog about it.

And as I think about it, two things have occurred to me. First of all, it’s not so much the happenings, as most of them were quite simple things and not at all out of the ordinary. It’s the degree to which each of them affected me. The second thing that has struck me is that maybe, in order to clear the fog, I should force myself to make a simple list of them, then add to it the reasons and the circumstances. This way, I may actually be able to clarify it all.

This is a very unique form of writer’s block for me. But, I think I will make it an exercise, since I have obviously not taken on the challenge of “Mastering the Habits of Great Writers.” And then, when I figure it all out, I will regale you with the details. Well, not all of the details, since some of it did come from very private and personal discussions with someone I would not choose to betray.


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